50. Drive-thru Beer Barns–Libations for Lazy Folks

4 Nov

What? You thought burgers, tacos and donuts had the drive-thru market cornered? Oh no. They can’t compete with kegs, cigarettes and wine coolers. Not in the South anyway.

I can’t say how the drive-thru beer barn got started, but I suspect it was the brainchild of someone whose six-year-old flat out refused to go into the tote-sum for momma’s Marlboro Lights. See, if I was making a list of Stuff Southern People DON’T Like, number four would be “Getting Out of the Car” (or more likely, the truck).

A beer barn isn’t necessarily in an actual barn, but “beer building” just doesn’t sound festive at all. The cool thing about beer barns is that minors are allowed in. Craving a bag of pork rinds and a coke? Need a pack of gum? M & Ms? Just drive on through!

You might think the idea of a drive-thru alcohol purveyor is counterintuitive. Wouldn’t this promote drinking and driving? That’s like saying drive-thru restaurants promote eating and driving. Who wants to eat in the car when there’s a big screen TV and a coffee table waiting at home?

I reckon beer barns might have been outlawed by some zealous Baptists, seeing as the one on Lakeland Drive was closed eons ago. Now, that, my friends is counterintuitive, seeing as Baptists are the ideal demographic for the drive-thru beer barn: no chance of being spotted in public toting a six-pack of Bud.

When I was in high school, Mississippi changed the drinking age to 21, but Louisiana had yet to jump on the bandwagon. Folks would drive across the river at Vicksburg to this place called Daiquiri World where you could get a ginormous Styrofoam cup of daiquiri TO GO. There might have even been a drive thru. And what’s better than a drive through beer barn? A drive-thru LIQUOR joint.

Beats the heck out of the drive-thru espresso stands that multiply faster than rabbits – or Starbucks – around here.

Ever been to a beer barn? Do they still exist?

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10 Responses to “50. Drive-thru Beer Barns–Libations for Lazy Folks”

  1. Tegan November 4, 2010 at 4:14 pm #

    As of 2002, they still existed around Austin, TX! I did quite a few double-takes.

  2. Litsa Dremousis November 9, 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    Love this, Kim! Had no idea they existed in the first place. You’re like Margaret Mead.

  3. hotrobyn January 26, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    Currently, I know of a few in Beaumont and Galveston in Texas. Thanks for keeping your Southern charm.

  4. Ann January 28, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

    Ok so I can’t help myself here but in Oxford we had a drive thru beer barn that sold BBQ sundaes! This would be beans BBQ pork and topped with Cole slaw. To die for! Loving your blog!

    • girloutofdixie January 31, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

      My favorite BBQ place in seattle sells BBQ sundaes, but I’ve never actually tried one. Maybe I should…

  5. Ann January 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm #

    Oh and that would be Oxford Mississippi by the way home of the Ole Miss Rebels!And the Sundaes were in a ginormous paper snow ball cup you know with the point?!

  6. DessertForTwo May 11, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    They do exist! Amen! In Frisco, TX! :)

    • Kim Holloway May 12, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

      Yay!!

  7. Anonymous August 6, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    Stillwater, Oklahoma has one still that’s always packed.

    • Kim Holloway August 8, 2011 at 11:05 am #

      I guess it’s true; Oklahoma is OK!!!

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