Why is it that the very minute a Southerner acquires a front porch (or reasonable facsimile), she must run to Cracker Barrel and buy a white rocking chair? Visit any Southern neighborhood with a decent concentration of front porches (shouldn’t be too hard to find), and you’ll see what I mean – oodles of white rocking chairs. What you won’t see is anybody actually sitting (much less rocking) in them.
I figure this has to do with the romantic notion that Southern folks sit around on the front porch drinking lemonade or mint juleps 24/7. Sure, they would like to. But they’ve got jobs, soccer games, and dentist appointments just like anybody else.
Maybe the white rocker symbolizes a Southerner’s desire to return to the simpler days. Back when folks talked instead of texting. Before “Gossip Girl” replaced good old-fashioned gossip. When the Black Eyed Peas were something you ate with cornbread.
Do you have white rocking chairs on your porch? And why do they always seem to travel in pairs?
stuff southern people like 
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