35. Four-wheelers or How to Drive without a License

6 Apr

Photo by Denise
Flickr Creative Commons

All-terrain vehicles used to be known as three-wheelers till somebody decided an extra wheel would make them safer. What really might make them safer is if folks didn’t drink a few six-packs before taking them out for a spin. Or let their five year olds loose on them. But, hey, as long as they stick to the woods or the yard, fine by me. It’s not like people get killed or even maimed on them. Not that many, anyway. Not anymore.

Apart from the rifle, four-wheelers may be the best thing that ever happened to hunters. No more pre-dawn, miles-long treks to the deer stand. Just hop on your four-wheeler and go. No more dragging your sad-looking deer carcass home by the antlers. Just secure it to your deer rack and zip back in time for, well, Miller Time.

A little known fact about me: I used to have a three-wheeler. An even littler known fact about me: I wrote an extremely persuasive letter to my dad to secure said three-wheeler. (Which included compelling arguments such as “EVERYbody has one!” and “Do you want me to be the only girl in seventh grade without a three-wheeler??”)

Back in the day, I loved racing around the yard on my bright red three wheeler. Tumbling down the hill wasn’t all that much fun, but it beat sitting around watching ice melt. Maybe the best part was riding with my little sister, hitting a bump and sending her bouncing off the back. Ok, I wouldn’t be laughing if she’d really been hurt. Not too much, anyway.

Sure, ATVs have the tendency to tip over and pour the rider out in the manner of a short, stout teapot. They may not have seat belts. And nobody EVER wears a helmet. But they’re way safer than, say, bull riding or sassing your mother.

Do you have a four wheeler? What do you use it for?

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3 Responses to “35. Four-wheelers or How to Drive without a License”

  1. ToXic Blonde September 4, 2010 at 4:17 am #

    Love this!! 😉

  2. femmesauvage January 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    I’m from Kentucky, and i was learning how to drive a stick shift. My friend from Mississippi was in the car, and i was being taught by my Bostonian boyfriend. I was nervous about it, and my friend said, “Don’t worry, it’s just like ridin’ a 4-wheeler.” My boyfriend, totally confused, said, “What’s a… a.. fur-willer?”

    We cracked up, and then i said very carefully, “An all terrain vehicle.”

    • girloutofdixie January 31, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

      Fur-willer!! Love it!!

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