“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb. I also know that I’m not blonde.” -Dolly Parton
Southern people don’t like Dolly Parton; we LOVE her. How could you not? She’s sassy, sexy, and, best of all, sincere. Some folks are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Not Dolly. But she had a microphone in one hand and a can of hairspray in the other. She’s been making music and magic ever since.
I must say that I will always love Dolly’s original version of “I Will Always Love You” a gazillion times better than Whiny – I mean Whitney – Houston’s attempt. Yes, I said it – attempt.
At the risk of steering way off topic, I have to ask: Did y’all see Oprah’s interview with Whiny last year, and if so, did she seem a little crack-y to you? And what about Oprah’s interview with Lisa Marie Presley in which the latter gave the late, great Anna Nicole Smith a run for her (or somebody’s grandfather’s) money in the “looking doped up” department? Note to LMP: False eyelashes and droopy eyes go together about as well as white linen napkins and a rack of ribs.
I reckon I ought to say something nice to negate what all I just said about Whiny and LMP but damn if I can think of anything! I’ll just jump back into praising Ms. Parton and hope y’all forget all about my catty commentary.
What makes Dolly so irresistibly appealing? Her Boob Job Barbie proportions? Her Wealthy Drag Queen fashion sense? Her Countrified Angel voice? Yes! Yes! Yes! But I think Dolly’s most endearing quality is that she doesn’t take herself too seriously, offering wisecracks like “You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.”
I love Dolly’s spunk. Her confidence. The joie de vivre oozing from her pores. If Dolly has an aura, I bet it’s glittery.
Y’all, the lady has her very own theme park! Who does that? Dolly does!
While Dolly’s never made a secret of all the enhancements she’s made to the outside, she’s always remained true to what she is on the inside: a country girl from east Tennessee.
With all her fame…money…success…rhinestones…She hasn’t committed one of the Seven Deadly Sins (Southern Edition): “Getting above your raisings.”
I've always had a little Dolly in me...
After six and a half decades, Dolly’s still devoted to entertaining folks, and there’s no sign that she’ll be letting up anytime soon. I’d love to have her exuberance, her effervescent spirit, and her contagious smile when I’m pushing 65. Aw, hell, I ought to go ahead and wish I had those things NOW.
Also: The number of her extremely talented plastic surgeon…for future reference.
Photo credits: Dollywood by Hildeborg, Flickr Creative Commons, My Dolly impersonation from Holloway family collection
How do you love Dolly? Let us count the ways…
stuff southern people like 