stuff southern people like

Donut eaters tend to fall into two camps: those who like the cake variety and those who prefer the glazed kind. Guess which ones Southerners tend to prefer. Hint: glazed. And where’s the best place to get a glazed donut? Krispy Kreme.

When I was growing up, the closest Krispy Kreme was on the Gulf Coast, three hours away. I wouldn’t say we traveled there just for the pastries, but if you’ve seen the “beaches” in Gulfport, you’d know we weren’t there to frolic in the non-existent surf. Looking back, I can’t recall why we ever went to the coast. It’s not like we couldn’t get tacky souvenirs and sunburns at home. But I digress.

I can’t remember eating my first Krispy Kreme, but I’m pretty sure the heavens parted and angels sang in chorus. Biting into that melt-in-the-mouth confection of fat, sugar, and dough, I may well have swooned. After that, all other donuts might as well have been rice cakes. Ok, not really. But I sure did love Krispy Kreme.

The best thing about Krispy Kreme is their neon “Hot Now” sign, when it’s on. Seeing as donuts are typically made long before sunrise, where else am I ever going to get a hot, fresh one? Ok, yes, I could make one myself, if I could ever figure out how to dispose of used cooking oil.

After I left Mississippi, they opened a Krispy Kreme in Jackson, where you can not only get donuts hot and fresh, you can watch them being made. The donuts float along a little river of oil, travel through a waterfall of icing, and ride a conveyor toward a Krispy Kreme worker ready to box them up. If I recall correctly, they’ll even let you pluck your own donut off the conveyor. It’s like a low-rent version of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Sadly, no oompa loompas.

Fast forward to 1999 when Krispy Kreme infiltrated Hollywood. Everybody on every TV show or movie was eating Krispy Kremes. It was driving me mad because I was living in Seattle with nary a Krispy Kreme in sight. I even went so far as to send an email to KK’s headquarters asking them when they would: A. Build a Krispy Kreme in Seattle or B. Lay off the product placement already. They sent me a courteous reply saying they had no plans to open a franchise in my area anytime soon. ACK!

So I left Seattle (not solely over the Krispy Kreme issue, but it did factor in…). When I came back in 2002, lo and behold there was a Krispy Kreme within driving distance. Hallelujah.

I now live just a few miles from a Krispy Kreme, and while I will occasionally swing by for an original glaze, I have to say my infatuation with them has been steadily eroding over the last few years. I’m now inching closer and closer into cake donut territory.

Sadly, the nearest Top Pot is fifteen minutes away…

What’s your favorite Krispy Kreme variety?

Tags: donuts, eating, humor, Kim Holloway, krispy kreme, southern culture, southern food, southern people, stuff southern people like